How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they...

By taking turns talking.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?